2010 was the year I got into blogging, the year I became THE Social Network person n also the year my Facebook addiction climbed to the heights where my personal profile was disabled. But that was kinda rehab for me.
Now I am still a Social Network addict but mostly a Twitter person. Having said that here are some of my one liners (or more than one) that had been most “LIKEd” or RTed on FB/Twitter resp. The list doesn’t end here but I do not wish to squeeze the scroll bars too much.
THOUGHTFUL:
We see trains colliding, we see plane crashing…
Road accidents r a daily affair, we r blown away wit bombs.
We leave some, we lose some…
Life is precious, life is beautiful…Yet life is so short!!! God bless LIFE!
MOVIES:
- Damn you Christopher Nolan , now that you gave a new high on Inception, the FIFA World Cup hangover is almost over! 🙂
- Q. What did Bachan Jr. say to Leonardo DiCaprio after watching Inception? A. What an idea Sirjee. An idea can change the world!! 😉
- FATAL WARNING: Do not even get a pirated copy of Golmaal-3!!! However Tusshar Kapoor fans cud make it cuz he is at his annoying best! #SomeoneKickTheShitOut
- If U think of celebrating ur Christmas watchin Tees Maar Khan for Sheila ki Jawani or othrwise, I suggest u to settle down for some soft porn rather than spoilin d time.
OFFICE-Etc:
- Possible joke of the day – I love Mondays!
- Nation-wide Strike => Long lazy weekend => Satanic Saturday ahead. This Friday nite is goina be a Fright-day!
- The transition b/w one project to another is always a bliss. Why? U swim freestyle in the free-pool. U indulge urself all 8 workin hours on Social Networks. N then u fly away home. 😉
- Arey Merry Christmas n Happy Vacation, all right. Shut down to karke jao systems ko! Go green but whn it comes 2 offc, company ka maal, dariya mein daal???
NARCISSISTIC:
- I have few retards in my profile that turn me off big time n eventually turning me into a retard!
- To all those who missed me right here on FB, I ❤ U. To all those who rejoiced my absence, kiss my (__|__) 😀 [FYI, I hav kissballs down dere. Kicks prohibited ;)]
- If HATE can be personified, then it’ll be FACEBOOK. Thanks Mark for disabling my account. This, my dear Mark is the beginning of your fall…downfall!
- Huney, am home!…….What took U so long??? It’s Friday night bitch. 😉
FIFA:
- There will be 3 things we will remember from the 2010#worldcup in South Africa: the vuvuzela, the Jabulani n #PAULTHE PSYCHIC #OCTOPUS.
- Thank U Spain – U r the World Champ for me!\m/ Essentially becos U did justice to the Germans for gangraping TINA…Oops I mean Arrrg…!
- HOLES were bullish, but BULLS are Spanish! And bulls will crush anything if they are instigated – especially man-shaped Oranges!
- Hence, the German blitzkrieg was destroyed by the Spanish bullfighters!
- The #Ger Octopus- Paul denies 2 predict 4 Germany as he’s busy wif Octopussy Paula countin his last days b4 being exported 2 Mainland China!
- The host nation #RSA said to #FRA, would U lik 2 trade some Vuvuzelas 4 ur French-Fries n French-Kisses? #FRA said ‘NO’. #RSA said, ‘Here U go’. And meet #ENG @ Airport! 😀
ON MY MIND:
- International Airports – The only place where U get to see/meet(if ur lucky) lovely petite gorgeous women of ol’ skin colors…both travelers n d ones dat help ya travel.
- One possible disadvantage of ‘riding’ bak home than ‘driving’ bak home during heavy showers is…U can’t park ur bike n make love when it rains midway!
- Being at home could be dangerous! Why does my dad wish to sacrifice me so soon when ol’ my ex-s are single n knotless?
- Myth: Kingfisher Airlines hostesses are red “haute” ! Reality: U dont really need to be gorgeous to join KF Domestic Airlines.(They induce sleep more than keepin u alert!)
- If we never had a religion, we would never have festivities. And life would be so monotonous. #HappyDiwali
- Come home to d best Sweet dish-n-delicacies that mankind cud ever drool on, come home to Bhubaneswar. Rasagolla, Rasmalai, Chhena Poda…d “authentic” list is endless. BEAT our sweetness!
- Any idiot cracking jokes on Diwali, makin fun n too much noise of dis sparklingly joyous festival will be subject to Patakhas n Rockets in his arse. #HappyDiwali
- In Bangalore, 3 things kill you. Chicks, Climate n Traffic. While d 1st two r worth-experiencing, the last doesn’t let you enjoy it.
- U know u r in Bangalore when U see pretty chicks wit cheerful faces, colorful attires, hairs straightened mostly…accompanied by a guy/two in most cases n d weather kills u wit chills!!
BACHELOR’S DIARY:
- From a Bachelor’s Diary: Weekends are meant for washing socks, clothes, baniyans n bike! Then repair d machines. Whatev time’s left goes on SNs. No time to get laid!! Ugh!
- From a Bachelor’s Diary: When Mom’s not around, the only savior for a hungry tummy after a stressful day at work is Instant Noodles!!!
- From a Bachelor’s Diary- U don’t wake up so early ever once U hav slept late. Only 2 find out da reason were bloody mosquitoes cuz ur All-Out got over!
- From a Bachelor’s diary: Life has never been so lonely than what it is right now…At times stupidity favors u, at other times, it’s devastating!
- From a Bachelor’s Diary: Evenings on weekdays are meant to watch movies, on weekends, to gettin drunk. At times wish to shut down this chapter. At times, life feels lonely.
SATIRE:
- My dear friend, even if my pen-drive was infected, would u expect a “Yes” from me when U ask, “Does it have Virus?”.
- Reaching the DELL Tech. Support team for assistance is like reaching the stars without a spaceship! Quite literally!
- Q. What’s d difference btwn Bangalore n a remote Indian village? A. Powercuts – In B’lore: 1 hr each, 5 times a day; In a Village: 1 time, straight for 5 hrs!Q. What’s the similarity then??? A. At times these Power-cuts may last upto 8 hours at-a-stretch!
- 20 yrs hav passed by but guys visiting Keshari theatre wouldn’t leave d habit of peeing on RBI Building walls. Stunning BBSR ??
- Dear Pakistan, Thank you for taking Sania Mirza, thanks for listening to our appeals on FB for adopting Rakhee Sawant…Oh Plz, lift Arundhati Roy now.
CWG:
- Irony/Coincidence? Both CWG n IPL r gaming events, both r cash cows 4 r politicians. While IPL has Paisa,CWG has Wealth & both hv Corruption.
- CWG -> Kalmadi’s Cash CoW-Games / Congress’ Wow-what-Wealth Games!
- IPL/CWG both have 2 things in common i.e. P and C ? “P” – Paisa => Probe && “C” – Cashcow => Corruption.
- Terrorism(Kasab)/Naxalism/Inflation/CWG – What’s common? IST – GOI believes in IST i.e. we could always ‘stretch’. Is the International Embarrassment imminent?
CHILDREN’s Day:
- When I was a Kid, Weekends dint mean Facebook or Twitter indoors but it meant Bat/Ball/Race outdoors.
- When I was a Kid, Baba Ramdev was a student drinking Coca Cola.
- When I was a Kid, ‘Biting’ n ‘Sucking’ was only confined to Mosquitoes.
- When I was a kid, I got wet dreams after watching Hindi B-Grade movies. (Pyaasi Chudial etc.)
- When I was a kid, all my fb friends were also kids…n FB founder was also a kid!!! Now he’s billionaire, n we’re contributing to it. #FML
ONIONS:
- Onions – 1 Kg = 100 /- || One bottle of Carlsberg = 100/- #YouPrefer
- Tip for just broken relationships: A raw Onion a day, keeps your ex away.
- Similarity between Onions n a “misleading” pretty face – Both have layers.
- Onion prices 70 /- per kg already. I was happy that at least we av few days until sometime in 2011 when it touches 100/-. Now m already in tears without peeling them.
RANDOM reads:
- Be grateful, because hundreds of millions of sperms were ejaculated and YOU were the fastest swimmer. But the irony is, even that was spent on a woman!
- Yea right! Happy endings do exist…it all depends where you end the story
- Behind every successful man, dere’s a gorgeous woman! Behind every gorgeous woman…dere’s a man staring at her bums.
- Pakistan tourism board tag line: ‘Come to Pakistan, have a BLAST’
Well, last but not the least, thanks for the Likes n RTs. They do make me feel, my words have life and they are being heard. Hope the next year, unlike this year I won’t spam your feeds. Oh wait, I was kidding. 😀
~~Biswajeet's Blog~~ 