On this day after Valentine’s Day…!


Apparently, I almost forgot that I had a blog. Now when I revisit at the 11th hour, I see the last post I ever wrote was on a Feb 14th of yesteryear 2013 and simply nothing thereafter?? How could that be possible…was it that the last ever sulky solitude I had to showcase on my blog was my last post scribbled in the then bachelor’s diary? Or perhaps it’s How-This-Lovelorn-Met-You post V-day that year that I completely lost score of time and the virtual life I lived on socially, by choice, or by no other choice!

2 years on, as I hit this online diary, I have an identity crisis. But that’s how destiny has it all. Never did I again get a chance to sulk in solitude or worse, loneliness on a Feb 14th. What St. Valentine did on Feb 14th, in that era, is what we were destined to do – a day after – Feb 15th – WE GOT MARRIED – barring those great grand walls of caste, fateful (astro) lines, oriental society norms, parental pressures…so my darling, I’ll take some time off here to retrospect how I came along to spend this One Complete Year of Bliss with you, just to take it forever ahead in this juggernaut filled with love, traveling through the sands of time and stopping today to celebrate our 1st ever Wedding AnniversaryFeb 15th, 2015 – 02152015!

At the outset, Huney! A big – Thank You! And this note of gratitude is for being so awesome that I never felt the need to come back to this virtual world of Social Media and even a total abstinence from my so-called passions are unregrettable. Yet, am grateful to these times of technology which is why we’re together!

That fateful day “jab we met” and were sure that we won’t meet ever again. But who knew destiny had different plans. From a delayed unexpected response to a final bye from my end to the days where I spent nights talking to you and slept as dawn broke…the feeling deep within was simply getting profound. So profound and strong that it costed us to be bonded into a knot forever, for good. Everything else looks pale when you’re truly, madly, deeply in love and get into that “come-what-may” attitude the moment you listen to your heart, through your mind. And this is how we met and we continued…

When I met you for the 1st time, and this funny pic was clicked by your sister (then) & my sis-in-law now, followed by a disapproval.

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When I gave you the 1st kiss ( the color in the wallpaper will always remind you) –

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When I took you to a surprise date to a place close to my heart – Gokarna

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And when we took our 1st #selfie

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And when I clicked your 1st Portrait

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As I kept knowing you better –

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When our parents met (it was worth the struggle) –

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When we got “happily engaged” –

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And continued the courtship –

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When we got “Just Married” –

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When we went to an Adventure Trip with our idea of Honeymoon –

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And then continued the Honeymoon with some leisure –

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When we celebrated our 1st Holi together –

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  • When we knew my father was diagnosed with Colon Cancer …………………
  • When you gave me an unstinting, selfless single-handed support for continuous 6 months in overcoming this agonizing trauma and hugged me with a hope that those unstoppable tears of the only son for his admitted father could subside…
  • When you gave me strength to yet again admit my father in ICU despite we both suffering from Dengue …
  • When you were beside me as I was admitted in one Hospital and went to see my father who was admitted at the other on the same day…

When we collected our shattered bits n pieces to smile our ways from grief to rejoice at Goa

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When we celebrated Diwali together –

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And continuing the celebration streak on NYE –

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And to sum it all up, we’re heading for yet another celebration to have overcome all the ups & downs and faced all odds of life to even it out in an Island Nation on our 1st Wedding Anniversary………..(to be continued….)

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When U visit hometown at 28!

28 is not a nice age to visit hometown if you are still single. But you have to, not to see possible matches that have been talked about by your parents before your visit, but to attend one of your best friend’s wedding (baraat) and to spend some time with your family. But thanks to the constant reminders from your parents, and now that you’re  eligible, you tend to see newly wed couples everywhere. 3 years back, it was just single ladies in front of your eyes that have now been replaced by young “just married” couples.

I really do not know what this syndrome is, that I end up seeing them – at the airport, in the flight, in the malls, at the theatres,  ugh! Everywhere! Ab sab chhod chhad ke Facebook pe baitho….to wahaan bi Wedding Albums ke alava kuch hai hi nai!! The then FarmVille updates have now been replaced by marriage pics. Oh yes, there’s a LIKE button. Hit like – the best thing you could do to bless the couple, ONLINE. You see even Mark Zuckerberg is married now!! And hence the status follows:

Currently, it’s Wedding Season on Facebook —
As per Census: For every 1000 men in India, there r only 778 women. So, 778 couples are busy updating relationship statuses & uploading albums. The rest 222 men (including me) are busy hitting Like button.

Kya karein, jisne humein chaha, naa uska bhala ho paya…Aur jise humne chaha, naa humara bhala ho paya. Par chaahat mein hum ek bewakoof insaan jaroor ban gaye the. Spiderman bhi bana hoga. Thanks to Female Foeticides, finding even “a little close to the right match” is like spotting a tiger in India – Only 1411 left!  So the final straw – Arranged Marriage. But that’s like going on a wild goose chase – Caste, Color, Height, Horoscope, Family status, Age, Package…are to name some of the criteria of this concept. More than 50% of matrimony profiles out there are of BROKEN HEARTS that need some healing before they’re actually ready to accept you. Whew!!!  Hum to kaafi kuch compromise karke bas 3 essential/basic cheezon pe atke hain but uspe bhi not a single proposal that you will “feel good” about. Humein to yaar dowry bi nai chahiye. Totally against it. The ones your parents feel, you don’t; the ones you feel, your parents don’t; the ones both feel, caste/kundalis don’t!  Although I agree to some extent with the concept of risk/uncertainty based on Kundali matches since predictions are based on the science of Astrology but I fail to understand the relevance of caste system in today’s self-made progressive world. [ An elaborate post on Caste system and broken hearts in the offing]

You being the only child, your parents are deeply disappointed, you are upset because your parents are and feeling immense pressure but you keep citing some examples to console their much delicate hearts. (Ab ‘Haan kaise kehdein, humari bi koi preference hai ki nai? Poora life kisika banna hai. Moreover, I don’t like seeing girls and refusing. More girls have refused me just seeing my matrimony profile rather!! )

Ab Pyar koi chai ke dukaan pe to nai mil raha, ki ek mangaa lein…time chahiye, jo shayad hai nai. Aur humein koi stranger ko chahne ke liye jab tak woh feel aaye, tab humare kundali mismatch ho jaate hain. Aur ladkiyon ke kahaan kam nakhre hain aaj kal. When they are getting interests from any Tom, Dick and Harry on Matrimonial sites with counts that match their FB ‘unknown’ friend requests, bhao to badhna hi hai. Aur us race mein shayad hum kahin chip jaate honge. Jab nazar aate hain, tab race is over! Unko kya chahiye ab rabb jaane. Perhaps they want Greek Gods who can give dowry to them instead. Or guys with altitude but size of brain immaterial!

I would rather not elaborate else this post would turn into a work of fiction!  Dil nai kar raha aur likhne ko, but one day I’ll pen down all my experiences. Now Men don’t have a choice. They really don’t. Perhaps the wise ones could wait for that “One day of Autumn” after 500 days of harrowing Summer is over. It’s all about time. 🙂

Here’s a small video from one of my fave movies – 500 Days of Summer , that speaks all about the above line:

I may be aging as the days pass by, my hairs might be greying (but there’s always Schwarzkopf professional to your aid, nuh?) but barely my parents know that I still feel, act and think young, just like the way I was at 21. And at 41, I’ll still be the same. Love (when it fails) may make you weak, timid, numb and dumb but never lose hope in finding love, again. Just have to keep your eyes wide open. Hope you found a suitable match – that would be your love. 🙂

 

Valentine’s Day from a Single’s Diary…

It’s 10 p.m. now. And I am online. That does mean I wasn’t lucky today to find someone to spend the evening, to have that special moment shared with a special person. But right about now, just 2 more hours for the day to be over and everything be back to normal. Have ordered something for dinner sans alcohol, and yet another dinner like most Fridays would be on my own.  So why make a fuss about this day? Why would it hurt or make you feel bad to be alone on this day at all? Isn’t it way too commercial as of today that they charge you an arm and a leg wherever you go to celebrate this special day “meant for lovers” (or more so, people from opposite sex)? No doubt the Love Industry has a turnover of billions post-Valentine’s Day. Not only that, they cash in on the stupid frivolous so-called Valentine Week where each day is dedicated to all the possible mushy stuffs that you would possibly gift your partner on Feb 14th. (But I really hope you’ve an understanding partner who scoffs equally at these inane and old school methods of making her special)

But yes, Today you’re earning that much that you can afford to make that ex-kinda lady feel special (who possibly walked out of your life because you felt it is little too high on your budget to go for a Valentine Special Dinner out in a classy restaurant when you were a fresher in the Job Industry). But why spend on so very materialistic people? But well cuz you can afford to. And it’s the Time, Moment and Company that matters for you more now, I guess. But if only Money could buy feelings…sigh!

So, now it feels bad to have come out of office, a little early, to see most of them carrying bouquets in their hands – some to gift, some receiving the gifts. And if you’re working at UB City, the grandeur of the building decorated with flowers and its restaurants inviting you with neatly embellished tables with wine glasses, bouquets and heart-shaped balloons around is simply alluring! Having spent 3 years in the vicinity, especially when tomorrow is your last working day at current office, where after you won’t be a part of it but a guest, a visitor…you tend to get a mild heartache. But well, you don’t have a company. Your instant reactions go to the past years of this day where you had someone, more adorable (NOT the ex who also was my 1st love I mentioned above) to celebrate with on that particular day and would wish the same person was still with you, right here right now.

Nobody wants to be lonely. At least, I do not. But when you’re 28, most of your friends are busy with own lives/wives. The close and single ones are not in the same city anymore. Being in a city where you 1st arrived after your studies feels like some alien place, as if you are at some onsite location for work. You were alone on your birthday few days back, but well, you celebrated it with a bottle of wine and some pizza to pamper yourself to turn that loneliness into solitude. Yes, there were some online friends thankfully to wish you over video with their happy smiling faces and others who called you at the midnight hour.

Ugh! I made it sound all sombre. No way, there’s a flip side to all this too. You have social networks, namely, Facebook and Twitter, where in you pour your heart out with funny statuses and tweets. Also, connect to the world of other singles out there and their views and interactions. It’s sheer fun! Few of my statuses today unlike the deep satire on the Valentine Week specific days:

https://www.facebook.com/vishy.rana/posts/369942753034093

But here’s one I framed just out of bed, right on this Valentine morning:

There’s money in my wallet, & tonite will be thine,
There wud be flowers on the table n a bottle of wine,
But if u’ll be mine…my sun will shine…

So tell me love…would U be Vishy’s Valentine?

(https://www.facebook.com/vishy.rana/posts/369850606376641)

Although it has become an increasingly commercial day for love birds but well, if life gives you opportunity to celebrate why not make the most out of it. You won’t get all the shops all over the world be decorated like they were today on your anniversary after all. So, more days to celebrate, more special moments and more joy to life! May not be at some classy restaurant but yes, if you have the right ideas and items, then trust me you can have a blast within those four corners of your sweet home.

All said and done – I say Cheers today! For it’s way better to be in solitude than be in a relationship & still be alone!!! Next year, by this time as you all “suggest me”, would have tied the knot and become a man from bohemian. But who knows, who has seen the future. But if it turns out to be true then this day would always remain a past. Hence, made note of the day. 🙂

P.S. I leave you with this wonderful article Love in Three Photos (award winning love stories) and a lovely song that’s way too close to my heart: “Phir Le Aaya Dil” by Shafqat Amanat Ali: